Staff

President & Editor-in-Chief: Samuel Schwartz
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205 words to describe myself:
Son, we live in a world that has walls. And those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and you curse the marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: That Santiago’s death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and
incomprehensible to you, saves lives.
You don’t want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that wall. You need me there. We use words like honor, code, loyalty… we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use ’em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it. I’d prefer you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to.
Vice President: Mary Schauf
Mary is an American actor, singer and dancer. She rose to fame during the 1970s, appearing on the television series Welcome Back, Kotter (1975–1979) and starring in the box office successes Saturday Night Fever (1977) and Grease (1978). Her acting career declined through the 1980s, but enjoyed a resurgence in the 1990s with his role in Pulp Fiction (1994), and he has since starred in films such as Get Shorty (1995), Broken Arrow (1996), Face/Off (1997), Swordfish (2001), Be Cool (2005), Wild Hogs (2007), Hairspray (2007), Bolt (2008), and The Taking of Pelham 123 (2009).
Mary has been a practitioner of Scientology since 1975, when she was given the book Dianetics while filming the movie The Devil’s Rain in Durango, Mexico. 
Formerly:

Editor-in-Chief: Catherina Gioino aka Cat

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Lost Cat! Last seen in the deep bowels of underground discotecs. If found, please ignore all her sexual advances and incredibly dull jokes and return to said deep bowels.
Editor in Chief: Ethan Widell
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Ethan Widell has net-negative value. When He’s not busy detracting from Jester and other institution, He enjoys dampening the positive experiences of His friends, family, and peers.

Treasurer: Michelle Goff
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Michelle Goff has been around now for several hundreds of years, much to the dismay of the many people who have tried to get rid of her. Whether she is a superhuman or a monster remains a question of intense debate, but Michelle would like to apologize most sincerely for that one situation when she almost brought about the end of the world. She now spends her time on more calming activities and releases her inner rage by writing for the Jester.

Editor-in-Chief: Supriya Ambwani

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Sanskaari.

Staff Writer: Henrietta Steventon

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Polite. Intense. Smart. Really Intimidating.

Staff Writer: Tanmay Khandelwal 

The name is Tanmay, 10 May.

An Indian doing engineering. Must we say more?

Staff Writer: Mark Prusakowski

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Mark is feeling sad 😦 today

Staff Writer: Andrew Schur 

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Andrew Schur has been playing music to remain sane for some years now, and has recently employed The Jester as an outlet to express what can’t be said in Lit Hum. All of his friends happen to be Indian and his specialties involves concealing hickies and figuring out how to get fruit out of John Jay. His most recent crusade involves boycotting the John Jay elevators despite the fact that he lives on the 15th floor.

Staff Writer: Shiv Patil

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Shiv enjoys getting bullied for his name, eating bread, and watching 10 hour loops on Youtube.