Caffeine-addicted first year wonders why she wakes up with headaches after returning home from her first semester

Catherina Gioino |

Des Moines (CJ)–  Carla Passa, CC’22, refused to drink coffee before arriving at Columbia.

“I always thought of it as an adult drink,” said the Iowa native majoring in Computer Science. “I never really liked the taste and the nearest Starbucks is a twenty minute ride away. Plus, my parents only drink water and OJ, so I just stayed away from the stuff.”

However, after her first semester stuck taking Intro to Java, Fro Sci and Lit Hum, she turned to the drug as means of getting her work done in a safe and legal way.

“My friends all turned to coke and adderall,” she said; her right hand tapping rapidly on the table as her left viciously twirled a pen through her visibly vibrating fingers.

“This stuff is legal, and obviously the government doesn’t legally sell stuff that can kill you.”

Don’t let her twitching shoulder fool you– Passa claims she’s not going through withdrawal.

“Oh that? It’s nothing,” Passa said as she held her right shoulder down with her left hand. “I’ve uh… never been interviewed before,” she said, accidentally brushing away some concealer that hid a faint bruise on her chin where the shoulder kept bumping into. “It’s nothing.”

After returning home Wednesday night, Passa claims she’s been waking up with headaches that last the whole day, and regular drugstore medicine isn’t doing the trick.

“Advil doesn’t work. Tylenol doesn’t work. Not even ginger ale!”

“I don’t know what it could be,” Passa exclaimed. Her mother, overhearing our conversation in the next room over, shouted, “Ya drank too much coffee at school. Want me to get green tea at Wegmans?”

“Green tea sucks!” Passa yelled over her shoulder, rolling her eyes when she turned to face me. “And it’s not caffeine!”

Passa admitted she’s been a bit impatient since her return, and definitely more irritable. However, she feels optimistic for the future.

“I’m going to my aunt’s house for the holidays, and she has soda there. The good kind, not the Wegmans brand. And after that, it’s only like two weeks before we return for the spring semester, so I’ll be able to use my friend’s Keurig again.”