Top 5 Destinations for Lonely New Yorkers

Mark Prusakowski

Valentine’s Day may have come and gone, but we all know that one person who still can’t seem to let go of the fact that they just aren’t meant to be in a relationship right now. If you happen to be one of those people, fear not: New York City offers plenty of exciting places where single people can relax, have fun, and buckle under the crushing weight of abject loneliness.

LEGO Store

Pros: They just came out with a new Millenium Falcon and it looks badass.

Cons: Everyone is judging you. Even the kids.

Okay to Cry Here? The only thing that makes parents more nervous than a grown adult standing by himself in the middle of a LEGO Store is a grown adult crying by himself in the middle of a LEGO Store.

 

Dear Evan Hansen

Pros: This Tony-winning musical is a touching story with a powerful message about heartache and loneliness.

Cons: Orchestra seats start at $300, and you already sold your liver to go see Hamilton last year.

Okay to Cry Here? You’re kind of a monster if you don’t.

 

Central Park

Pros: Plenty of squirrels to make friends with.

Cons: The squirrels will eventually abandon you, just like everybody else did.

Okay to Cry Here? Knock yourself out.

 

Math Library

Pros: The stress culture here isn’t quite as awful as Butler’s.

Cons: What do you mean, it’s closing time already? Oh god, how long have I been here?

Okay to Cry Here? Fine, but could you keep it quiet? I’ve got to finish this problem set by midnight..

 

New York’s Hottest Club

Pros: This place has everything: psychos, dragons, kitten cops, a ten-foot bouncer who looks like Bill de Blasio, stunt scooters, and human laundry pods.

Cons: Not family friendly.

Okay to Cry Here? I guess?

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