Lines at Columbia and How to Cross Them

Ethan Widell

Columbia is a college of many lines. Whether it be the wait for overcooked ferris noodles or the hypnotically straight bars in front of your John Jay window, there are all sorts of lines to be found. Regardless of where on campus we find lines, or what these lines are, one thing is certain: Jester can help you cross them. 

Geometric / Architectural Lines

The most obvious lines are, well, lines. Remember that there are no uneven angles or pesky structural pillars in your Harmony suite that can’t be crossed off with a sledgehammer. 


The best way to cross this one is to hook up with the staff and forego the line altogether. The same applies to Ferris lines. 

John Jay Elevator 

What is the john jay elevator but a vertical line? How do you avoid it. Never leave your single. Or just take the stairs. 

Lines Between Truth and Fiction

Here at Columbia, the line is very very faint. 

Walking in a Straight Line to Class

Walk instead in a circle from your dorm to 5 guys and back. 

Political Lines

Difficult not to cross

Lines between CC and Barnard

See: crossing the street

Lines of cocaine

If you come across this line, you’ve probably already crossed it. 

Pickup lines

Lick your finger, touch her shirt, and say “how bout you and me get out of these wet clothes?”

Line crossed.