Today, Monica, our resident Basic White Girl, has come to Jester with a very pressing issue. Her besties, Britnee, Rachel, and Taylor (Tay Tay), are all going to Cancun for Spring Break like the clichés that they are, but Monica has no money because her Canada Goose got stolen and she had to pay to have it replaced.

“My daddy was so mean,” sobbed Monica. “He made me pay for the Canada Goose because he said it was my fault that I left it at 1020 after going off with that hottie. Can you believe that? MY fault! I’m just trying to find a rich guy to get married to like he always wanted, and yet he has the austerity to blame me!”

*Correction: Jester thinks that Monica meant audacity.

Monica needs support, as you can tell from this tragic story. Spring break is starting, and Britnee, Rachel, and Tay Tay have already caught their flight to Cancun. It’s up to our readership now to support Monica and make sure she is able to enjoy her well-deserved spring break.

Please donate to Monica’s Spring Break GoFundMe.

By: Michelle Goff