Scrapped Letters to Barack

Donald J. Best Ever President Trump

Trump Tow– The WHITE House

600 PenceLiveInVain Avenue

Washington Donald’s Co–


Barack HUSSEIN Os/bama

Kenya, Africa

January 21, 2017


Dear Bambam,

Hey pal what is up? You know I’ve bigly admired you, and its unpossible for me to think of a darker man I would want to talk too (red is a different story). So, you know, its my first day in out of a possible 20– 8 years and, well, let’s just say neither of us thought we’d be in this situa– siteati– citit– pickle.

Anyhow, how did you handle things here? I are not talking about the GREAT AMERICA because I am smarter then you and you know that. Their, I said it. What I mean is, what did you do here? Who did you hire? “Your fired!” That’s my most best line. But does you trust these people?

I’m worried the chef is trying to kill me. He’s working with the taste tester I know it I’m the smartest man-God alive so of course I would CHINA know that he is trying to kill me because I would know everything like the alternative fact that he is trying too kill me and obvio-obveo-obvius– most yesly I know that that is what is true.

I don’t trust him. He works with the taste tester. He gives the taste tester ok food and than puts poison in it and than gives it me. I know this.

I don’t trust the dog walker. I think he’ll walk the dog– I mean Barron– and teach him these ways. You know that story with the father and son and uncle? The one with the son becoming the king after the uncle talked to some high enas? You know, The Lion King? Well I think Barron will watch it and try to kill me and take the kingdom– I mean AMERICA– for himself.

That’s how this works; write? Ok cool thanks,

The Great and My Tee Trump


The Bestest President Donald Trump, MD, PHD, JD, SD, PCP, BFD

The Trump House

666 Trumpavania Ave

Trumpington Trump Trump


Hussein Osamabamaahzabenya

“Hawaii” Kenya Africa


January 27, 2017


He who will not be named–

I hear a lot of people calling me that. I think its a president thing. My first week in, and this is great. I did everything the Republicans told me two do, and did nothing you did so all is good with people, write? What is there to worry?

Pence. Mike Pence. How do you and Joe does it? At least Mike and I am the same, but your so different then him. I except the fact that your black and he’s white, but Mike and I– where so different.

Donut tell the Republicans this, but thank you for righting me back. I didn’t know Barron will not be king, but Mike will be next. But, did you trust Joe? Did you think of the 1850s? What if Joe atemp-attme- tired to do that too you? Did that not go threw you’re mind?

I don’t trust Mike. He axed me about my day. He told me to do things I didn’t want too. What if he tricks me into giving him the kingdom?

Oh write, you said this was a tempo-tiempo–NO SPANISH– temprar– not long job. Ok. But I don’t think Mike has my intensions in mind. He tells me things like “I made a mistake” but I know it is not me because I don’t make mistakes and so I think he makes mistakes but what mistake? Lately, he have been typing on a laptop and writed “All work and no boss all work and no boss” and I saw the fire ask was gone this morning.

Oh theirs a knock on the door, hold on.

Donald “Small Hands and Big Di–

By: Cat Gioino