“We did not plan this!”
“We get up at one or two in the morning!”
The CNN correspondents this morning were dressed uncannily like SNL’s Alec Baldwin and Kate McKinnon, who were dressed uncannily like Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. Although both reporters denied accusations of foresight and planning, they did so by citing the unreasonableness of watching the previous night’s live show at one or two in the morning when they get up for work. It was a crafty maneuver that allowed them to skirt around the question of whether or not they watched the show on Saturday night when it was aired.
As one man, who asked to remain anonymous because the CIA allegedly can tap into his brainwaves, told Jester, “You wake up in the morning and see something like that, these liberal media so-called ‘journalists’ all dolled up like liberal comedy assholes and you gotta wonder. I mean, that’s like three levels of meta. You got the originals, Hillary and Donald, and then you got Kate and Alec on top of that, and then those two CNN hacks on top of that. The media is covering itself, man. The media is covering itself.”
Concerns about an ulterior motive behind the CNN reporters’ choice of wardrobe grew after James Comey sent a certain letter to Congress just thirty minutes ago. Jester was unable at this time to access the letter, but Comey’s best friend’s aunt’s dog, a friendly Doberman named Pete, told us that the FBI will be investigating potentially relevant emails found on an unidentified cell phone in the dumpster behind Anthony Weiner’s house.
“The emails,” said Pete through an interpreter, “have something to do with CNN.”
By: Cary Chapman