- Pick pumpkins.
- Pick out the juiciest pumpkin in the patch and suck the life blood from it with a large syringe, so you can make your perfect, homemade PSL. For those of you who like to go organic when being basic.
- Hide behind pumpkins and spit seeds at random passersby.
- Look at adorable little children picking pumpkins and reflect sadly upon the moments in your life when you were happy and carefree.
- Conceive a child.
- Cut a giant hole into the bottom of a pumpkin so you can put the pumpkin on your head and run around terrorizing people.
- Rebury that body that’s been rotting in your yard for the past few weeks.
- Try to suck some orange dye from the pumpkins so you can replicate Donald Trump’s skin color going into this election season.
- Take out your inner rage on that ex-boyfriend or girlfriend or stalkee by smashing pumpkins.
- Most importantly, try to stay away from those killer clowns!
By: Michelle Goff